I am Ed, Eddie, Eduardo, Edward, Edemunsta, Everything (Really! A few classmates use to call me “Everything”) and no I will not mention names.
I am a Husband, Father of Two, Uncle, Brother, Cousin, Son and your Friend.
I have a purpose in this life and it is to Help Others Empower Themselves to be the best they can be.
Everyone has room for change and I can help. I want to help.
I see too many people who are hurting inside but do not want to say anything.
It kills me inside to see what people put themselves through when there is no need.
You are probably asking yourself, “How does he know?”
The honest truth is… I have been there.
Are you ready? This is going to get real.
I want you all to know who I really am.
Here is my story.
There was a time in my life where I started having these weird vibes inside of me.
Feelings that I have never felt before in my life.
I felt nervous, scared, alone, anxious, sad, hopeless. All at the same time.
I was shaking, my body was aching and I was sweating more than usual.
I was asking myself, “What is going on!?” “What is happening to me!?”
I could not understand what came over me. I was never felt like this before.
I started have thoughts of how my life was at the moment.
I started asking myself questions.
“Is this what my life comes down to?”
“Are my parents proud of me of who I have become?”
“Is my Wife happy with who I am?”
“Are my kids proud of me?”
“Why can’t I not do better for my Family?”
“Why am I here?”
Then I started feeling sorry for myself and I started shaking even more and my eyes watered and then I started to cry uncontrollably.
At the same time I was crying out, “I am sorry for not being a better son…I am sorry for not being a better Father for my wife and my kids…I am sorry I can’t be a better person.”
I did not know it at the time but I started giving up on life. I was overwhelmed with all the failures and did not know what to do.
I felt pain in my chest and all over my body and I wanted it to stop but it didn’t.
I was miserable for the next couple of days and I would cry myself to sleep only to wake up crying again.
My wife decided to take me to the hospital to see if I can get some help.
We saw a Doctor and I could not help myself from shaking and crying while I was talking to the Doctor.
The Doctor we saw recommended I see a Psychologist. So I did.
After the evaluation it was determined that I had Anxiety and Depression.
The Doctor wrote prescription for some Anti-Depressants and we walked out.
As she drove me home, I stared at the prescription and then I stared at the sky above us through the window and then closed my watery eyes and said, “GOD, please help me.”
My wife suggested that we should go to visit my Family in San Diego to try to get my mind off things.
We spent a night at my sister’s house on a Saturday. The next morning my Sister invited us to her church, “The Rock”. We went.
As I walked in I started having those same feelings of hopelessness and then the music came on.
Something happened when the music started playing. I started feeling chills up my spine to my neck like all the weight and burden I kept inside was lifted from me.
I started crying. This time I was not crying because I felt the hopelessness.
I started crying because I felt at peace with myself.
All of the pain went away that I had all over my body and my heart felt light.
I was able to breathe again. Thank you GOD for speaking to me through the music.
I was back to normal but this time I am not going to let this happen to me again.
I fell down and got back up and I am not looking back. I am going to be the best person I can be and nothing can stop me.
What happened to me happened for a reason and I know that.
I do not want anyone to feel the way I felt. This is what drives me now to help others.
Everyone has different circumstances and struggles in life. I just want you to know that you are not alone and I am here for you.
I will do everything in my power to help you with your needs.
Don’t give up! It does not matter how many times you fall as long as you get back up!
GOD bless you all!